first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
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