yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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