I think my vagina is haunted
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
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