I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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