I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize
