oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
