I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
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