What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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