Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
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I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
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So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Help. Why am I so naked?
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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