Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
