how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
