She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
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