She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
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I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
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I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Those nachos came to me in a dream
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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