Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
