Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
