I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Randomize
