did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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