my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Randomize
