Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
