I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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