I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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