just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Randomize
