Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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