Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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