This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize