On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
