It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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