Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
