too bad you live with your parents still
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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