Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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