worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
