I wanna bring you to show and tell
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
