She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
