my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
