his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
