Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
