News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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