Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
