he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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