): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
