Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Randomize
