4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
how do flat chested girls get laid?
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
