Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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