She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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