if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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