yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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