And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
