Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Randomize
