butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Its about making memories worth repressing
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
