I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
