Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
