so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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