A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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