But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
