Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
You don't make any sense
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