is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
