Swine flu. Run for my life!
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
