Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
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