If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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