Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
