just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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