I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.