An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"