the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
