Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?