We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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