I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i jhust puked up my retainher.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
