No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't judge my taste in strippers
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize